http://handbags.blog.co.uk/en-UKMokoFeed10http://handbags.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/41/03bc1b0c7f852c8ead285c0d26c0f4_160x200.jpghttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2008/09/12/i-m-back-4716777/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2008-09-12:/2008/09/12/i-m-back-4716777/Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:22:11 +0200 <p>I'm back!!</p> <p>After a very long time away from blogging I'm back. This is partially due to the fact that I am procrastinating severely as my task for today involves packing - yes carpedium is on the move!</p> <p>I'm finally taking the plunge with the boy - and while part of me is incredibly happy part of me feels slightly resistant.</p> <p>Its madness isnt it - we are pre programmed and brainwashed by media to focus on achieveing love and balance in our lives... and when I have it - god damn I feel resistant at giving up my freedom</p> <p>Perhaps its linked to not living in my flat - having worked hard to achieve all I have wanted, owning my own place has been a big part of my life - being financially independent. yet I joke that I would liek to be a kept woman... but would I really ( well maybe for a bit...)</p> <p>we've played at happy homes,buying furmiture together and designing a new kitchen (sarah beeny look out) and i have loved every minute of that - but what happens when all that excitement is over and we are left with just us - livng together, in the same confined space with no escape??</p> <p>Stay Tuned for the next update. I must catch up on all your lives and then I WILL get on with the packing!</p> <p>Cx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2008/09/12/i-m-back-4716777/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2008/09/12/i-m-back-4716777/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/05/27/ok_so_i_finally_watched_big_brother~832860/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-05-27:/2006/05/27/ok_so_i_finally_watched_big_brother~832860/Sat, 27 May 2006 12:35:14 +0200 <p>OK OK so I confess, after holding out I finally watched a bit of Big Brother this week...</p> <p>We seem to have the usual lot of pre-celebs yes, those people of zero repute or fame who nevertheless command acres of newsprint by virtue of the fact that they are about to appear on a reality show and will therefore become fodder for red-top newspapers and Heat magazine for a few months before being spewed back into the oblivion where they belong.</p> <p>Having watched the horrific episode which was at its essence somewhat like Lord of the Flies when the housemates ganged up on an already fragile extremely camp asian housemate I can't see how the show is termed a 'sociological experiment' - it is an experiment that no university ethics committee would countenance -a twisted case of social darwinism meets a popularity contest ....Would I be wrong it commenting on the dehumanising effects of the house?</p> <p>That Big Brother has continually found an audience is a wonder to me. Then again we live in a generally conformist climate, which routinely chloroforms people with the minutiae of celebrities' lives. Does the success of this sort of rubbish point point to the emptiness that lies at the heart of the success of the plethora of reality shows — the voyeuristic fascination with the antics of a bunch of wannabe celebrities resulting from people trying to escape their own largely unfulfilling lives.</p> <p>More than this, though, is the increasing debasement and exhaustion of this genre. Think back to 2000, when Big Brother picked relatively straightforward contestants and the show seemed fresh and compelling and like most I did watch and enjoy the show. Some of the later BBs caught the imagination through genuinely appealing characters such as Helen, Jade and Nadia who all shared with us their endearing naivete and won the hearts of the nation.</p> <p>Having watched it this week, it seems to be an increasingly dispiriting exercise whose only point seemed to be incubating the non-careers of a bunch of mainly idiotic, self-obsessed and incredibly unattractive (personality and physically!) desperados who all want to cop off with each other on national television in the hope it will lead to party invites, porn careers or wonder of wonders, a celebridee column in one of the various magazines, who make their money out of stories like " Jade puts out the rubbish in piank sweats"...</p> <p>I do wonder how much longer the BB format will last... for me... its going to be a long summer...</p> <p>Cxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/05/27/ok_so_i_finally_watched_big_brother~832860/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/05/27/ok_so_i_finally_watched_big_brother~832860/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/05/24/blackberry_rebels~826651/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-05-24:/2006/05/24/blackberry_rebels~826651/Wed, 24 May 2006 20:01:00 +0200 <p>So time for me to have another general rant about work and working culture... still building up to the love life one - on the plus side I did receive a rather nice bunch of flowers at work today.....from a secret admirer... should I be pleased or worried... that blog to follow...!</p> <p>Whoever thought up the blackberry was surely an expert in getting the most out of your employees. If, like me, you are equipped with one of these, you will know that it is simply a corporate hotline designed to enable "access" to your mind during evenings, weekends, holidays, basically any time of relaxation.<br> Companies know that no one really wants to carry around two mobile phones. So, on receipt of a company mobile/blackberry, most employees ditch their own phone in favour of merging all contact to one single number.</p> <p>After doing so, you fast realise that if you want to meet your friend tonight for last orders at a location unknown you need to have the hotline switched on until 10.30 ... and they can see you, they know when you've just started to unwind, perhaps the tie has come off, you're imagining that you have a life, you're the master of your own time, and then ... bam! "I'm sorry to disturb you, we were just here in the office, working late, and were wondering if you could help us with a little problem" or the red light starts flashing and you know you have an email that reads..."I'm sorry to disturb you, we were just here in the office, working late, and were wondering if you could help us with a little problem"</p> <p>They are always very apologetic and it is usually without doubt a "small problem", but still I believe it's wrong, because we all know that as soon as that phone is answered our evening will be spoilt. For even if by chance you happen to be able to solve this problem there will be a small part of your brain wondering what other problems there are, who else is still in the office. This is wrong and these people should be stopped.</p> <p>Companies have no right to eat into your time like this, it causes additional stress and can make people feel uncomfortable. After years of experiencing these types of scenarios I have a new approach to dealing with the problem. Honesty. I favour: "I'm sorry I am too drunk to talk" for when I am in a bar, and "I can't talk right now, I am ironing while watching the OC" when at home.</p> <p>The latter is good as it demonstrates that you care both about the way you look and matters of world importance. And what can the person on the other end really say when met with such a demonstration of reality; I mean, of course, I don't care about the profit forecast for 2008 when I have a snoked salmon canape to eat instead.</p> <p>OK, perhaps this is not the best approach for high flyers, new starters or anyone wishing to be truly successful in their career, but perhaps for those of us stuck in the middle, those who stayed late, but still couldn't find the solution, perhaps it is our way of having a bit of fun. And, after all, there is nothing more rewarding than baffling a young upstart - those keen people who cannot understand why everyone is not craving success for the company at all costs, who are genuinely perplexed by any signs of "slacking off", albeit in your own time.</p> <p>When you work the hours I do and then adopt flexible working ie working some days at home, some weekends and time off in lieu others presume you are always available, because they never actually see you. It does not occur to them that you might take leave. So when I was phoned several times during my holiday in Morocco last month you can imagine I was quite annoyed. I was busy lying by a pool with a martini in hand and, so, it was not a particularly convenient time to talk to anyone.</p> <p>I answered and was immediately confronted with a very trying counterpart complaining about a meeting that had been cancelled, to which I was not even scheduled to attend. At which point I responded with an "OK, what would you like me to do? Oh, hold on a minute, I'm about to drink my martini" and put the phone down.</p> <p>A bit childish perhaps, but hey, whats life without a bit of rebellion!</p> <p>Cx</p> <p>ps you'll be pleased to know I am still gainfully employed - though why is anyones guess!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/05/24/blackberry_rebels~826651/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/05/24/blackberry_rebels~826651/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/03/19/why_do_we_blog~658829/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-03-19:/2006/03/19/why_do_we_blog~658829/Sun, 19 Mar 2006 20:08:04 +0100 <p>Hello all</p> <p>So back after bit of a break and have spent a happy hour ot two catching up on all your news...now some of you have been busy haven't you?</p> <p>Am struggling a bit with trying to post regularly as life is just too busy - and hence a dilemma, as blogging is strangely addictive. Is it a case of good old fashioned voyuerism and our general fascination with other peoples lives or some form of cathartic psycho analysis? And with either of these, comes the fear of rejection as well as a feeling of being part of a community.</p> <p>I have posted before, the reason why I started blogging - partial boredom and partial desire to start writing again - but have I stayed true to my promise of writing? Sure I am posting, but not sure my words would ever be considered journalism or anything close to being publishable. There is a real appeal in being able to say what you want, with little fear of reprisal - would I be right in saying that the real appeal of a blog, is not the content but the ability to remain anonymous, yet connect with a range of people who also remain anonymous. Its a haven for those who's opinions are maginalised by the established media - Blogging represents the embodiment of the uniquely human desire to make a difference, to leave a stamp on the world.</p> <p>To me, the overriding rhetorical appeal of blogging is the possibility or actuality of COMMENTS I write in fear, in dread, in hope of generating comments - and thus meeting you, my blog friends. I wrote each post with the desire to be honest, however, there was a little voice in my head as I typed saying, "What will happen when they read this? Will they like it? Will they agree?</p> <p>Then I get comments and I love the back and forth, because the informal nature just begs people to lower their guard and turn off their filter. You know how we are in cars? When someone cuts us off, we curse, we honk, we give them the finger ( well I don't, but other do)And yet, from the protective bubble of our cars, we lose all our inhibitions and our manners. That's how I see blogging. We speak from the protective comfort of our chairs through a key board. We get to be free because no one can see us, no one can challenge us in person, and we don't have to watch the recipient react to our words. So we're more angry, more passionate, more loving, more emotive, more everything on a blog. So I brace myself for comments, but I'm delighted when they come. I'm not afraid of a challenge. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I like enlightened discourse. With comments, we can let 'em rip. So we go at it, usually with civility, but not with the usual discussion group disclaimers: "Don't take this personally, but..." "I hear you, and you make some good points, but..."</p> <p>Once again we come back to the constraints of conversation and the joy of uninhibited writing. Somehow the blogdom has created a unique forum for communication because we have nearly instantaneous dialogue in a stream-of-consciousness format. It's compelling. It draws you in. </p> <p>Not everyone may feel the pull of comments. But for me, and for many of us, I think the comments are the unique feature, because of the way they foster the one-of-a-kind blog rhetoric, its unique pathos appeal. Without comments, I'm just another faceless voice- But then someone answers, and I answer back, and then we're talking about my stuff and your stuff. And because of the way it all unfolds, in a less filtered, less edited, less defensive way (write-click-send-read-respond), I realize we're mostly alike in so many ways. Thanks for letting me in.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/03/19/why_do_we_blog~658829/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/03/19/why_do_we_blog~658829/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/03/19/went_on_hols~658723/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-03-19:/2006/03/19/went_on_hols~658723/Sun, 19 Mar 2006 19:40:55 +0100 <p>hello folks - soz about the silence again - got a bit hacked off with life and so disappeared off to marrakesh for a holiday- just got back so will post shortly... xx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/03/19/went_on_hols~658723/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/03/19/went_on_hols~658723/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/03/01/rock_n_roll_is_dead~604692/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-03-01:/2006/03/01/rock_n_roll_is_dead~604692/Wed, 01 Mar 2006 21:32:48 +0100 <p>help my blog friends.. I have a dilemma (as commented upon in sleepers blog). This weekend I am off to see a band, who of late are being hailed as the next ( well one of) big thing. What makes this interesting is that they are friends of a friend of mine, so not only are we guestlisted for the gig, but also for the after show party....</p> <p>Now while some of you may scoff, to me this is a big deal - a far cry from my usual london lifestyle and while I may consider myself reasonably stylish, I hesitate to describe myself as Hip and Cool... infact the mere fact I use the works Hip and Cool probably gave that away!</p> <p>Needless to say, I may be moments away from living my very own celebridee dream....my dilemma is (and no apologies for me, for once for being unashamedly girlie) - what is one meant to wear? The after show party is at a club which is " kool" and from the photos on the website, all I think is that they all need to iron their clothes, cut their hair and shave!</p> <p> Having spent the evening persusing my wardrobe, my conclusion is there comes a time in life when wearing full-on fashion - the kind of entertaining kit you find in the pages of the glossies, worn by teenage Russian models with complicated names and no breasts - starts to look ridiculous if you attempt the look on your own. Pinafores, say. Or culottes. Berets. Braces. Bubble skirts. To make my point, almost as a eulogy for my lost youth, I tried on a rock chick outfit that has been in my closert since University - as I looked at myself in the mirror, it dawned on me that I am getting too old for clothes.</p> <p>Not all clothes, of course. But the silly, trendee stuff which has been the lifeblood of my wardrobe for nearly three decades. At the age of 30, certain trends are beginning to look wrong. It's a realisation which creeps up slowly, like hair loss or weight gain, until one day the mirror shows you a stranger. I never want to be called mutton dressed as goat!</p> <p>While fashion pundits are terribly gung-ho these days about the agelessness of clothes, about how the taboos of dress have been broken, and how mother and daughter can now wear the same jeans to the same party where they'll dance to the same tune around the same handbag... the bottom line is that there are still boundaries. Not, perhaps, enforced by a society of strictures and codes, but by the fact that a 30-year-old woman wearing a pork-pie hat in homage to Pete Doherty looks daft. There is, and I say this with a sigh, undoubtedly a time to put away childish things.</p> <p>But what to wear instead? Turn 30 and you're supposed to instinctively know how to dress your age, just as you're expected to know how to file a tax return and how to produce a tasty coq au vin - and no one, least of all the media, the mags, the designers, the retailers, the icons, is giving much away on the matter.</p> <p>Perhaps Quentin Crisp was right when he remarked, 'fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.' Once you're old enough to know thyself, you simply have to stop hiding, to start letting go, just as you have already forsaken your intimate knowledge of chart tunes, dance moves (I stopped at the Macarena) street vernacular and who's snogging who in Hollyoaks.</p> <p>xx</p> <p>ps: any tips on rock and roll etiquette??</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/03/01/rock_n_roll_is_dead~604692/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/03/01/rock_n_roll_is_dead~604692/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/28/out_with_the_old~601737/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-02-28:/2006/02/28/out_with_the_old~601737/Tue, 28 Feb 2006 21:16:26 +0100 <p> Is it OK to dump friends? I suppose I mean those people who exist in that shadowy area between friends and acquaintances. I have a friend from a project i worked on many years ago. I have known her 10 years; we speak on the phone perhaps every couple of months and see each other three to four times a year. The problem is I actually don't like her very much. She has a Titanic-sized ego. She rings me up to give me the flashy spec on the new jewels/designer clobber bought with her latest bonus. People have pointed out that she's lonely and that her boasting is a symptom of her insecurity. That doesn't make it any more palatable. Should I just cut this person out of my life or have the odd drink and notch it down to the duty of friendship?</p> <p>Perhaps we're all a bit too sentimental and oversensitive about our friendships. Maybe all our lives would be enriched by social feng-shui. The advice given for clothes (if you haven't worn it for a year, chuck it) could well be applied to our fellow human beings. </p> <p>Perhaps a long, hard look in our address books is in order. Just strike out the names of those you've felt no inclination to be in contact with for the preceding 12 months. We live in a speedy society; we don't have time or space for passengers. Christmas would be the ideal time ( whoops, a late epiphany!). Old-fashioned cards bearing proof that friends afar are thinking of you are a thing of the past. A perfect replacement would be a P45 to unwanted friends. 'Dear Mary: In our early twenties you were a good friend and we had some laughs. Unfortunately you no longer amuse me in any way. In the past year I haven't felt the slightest inclination to contact you and that one time we did meet up I found the whole encounter a bit of an effort. In the light of this I feel it would be a good idea to sever our friendship now so it won't hold us back as we speed on through our lives. The good times were really great. Wishing you a nice life.</p> <p>Merry Christmas. Yours, etc.'</p> <p>It might feel cruel at the time but compare that to the subsequent joy of having uncluttered your address book. After all, you'd be sending out congratulatory cards to others. 'Dear John: Well done. Our friendship survives another year intact and is as beneficial to both parties as ever. I hope you feel likewise and I look forward to seeing you soon.'</p> <p>Let's be quite blunt here: successful 21st-century lives need streamlining, that's why everyone who can afford to - from the prime minister's wife down - seeks gurus to facilitate their pursuit of happiness, equilibrium and the right shoes. Friends for life are an old-fashioned concept dating back to a period when we waltzed gently towards old age. If you don't fit the profile, don't clutter up the answering machine. The more sensitive among us could volunteer for friendly euthanasia. 'I know I no longer interest you so I'd like to offer you this opportunity to remove me from your life. If you don't call back by 15 January, I'll consider you amputated from my list of friends.' Wouldn't life be so much simpler?</p> <p>Of course, the easy option is to continue with the status quo. How difficult can it be to set aside three dates a year to see someone with whom you share a past?</p> <p>Am I either bloody busy or bloody selfish to see meeting up a few times a year as such a chore. Aren't our lives merely the sum total of the experiences we've had, the friends and lovers we've encountered along the way? </p> <p>Our lives can't be managed like a portfolio of assets, and friendships have their lulls and renaissances like everything else. Sure, my pal is a bit of an over-egoed bore, but I'm sure she has redeeming features. Nevertheless, it does one no harm I suppose to observe, encounter and humour all sorts of individuals. One day she might surprise me by being there when I least expect it... Or should I buy a large pair of hedge trimmers and get to work. There are probably all kinds of unnecessary flotsam lurking in those shadowy corners.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/28/out_with_the_old~601737/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/28/out_with_the_old~601737/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/21/a_different_life_i_wonder~581400/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-02-21:/2006/02/21/a_different_life_i_wonder~581400/Tue, 21 Feb 2006 20:31:51 +0100 <p>As I came home this evening, I noticed the number of people reading Heat/ Now/ New/ Someothergossip amagzine with a one word name.... most of these seemed to have whatsherface who won 'celebrity big brother' ( i use the word celebrity loosely).. and that made me wonder... what would it be like to be a micro-celebrity. Not a real celebrity, not one who has actually achieved something to justify their fame. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cool.gif" alt="B)" class="middle" border="0">Talent is a mug's game; too much like hard work.I'd want the kind of amoeba-level fame that makes normal people like me, choke on their weetabix or feel obliged to spend £1 on the latest magazine, just to marvel at my airbrushed uselessness.</p> <p>Close your eyes and imagine the adoring fans The glamour! The wind gently caressing my 'just out of bed actually this took 8 hrs' hair and my Dior/ Prada/Roland Mouret dress as I strut in front of paparazzi all wondering who I am (as if I know myself).<img src="/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif" alt=":DD" class="middle" border="0"> I'd also love all the whingeing - moaning about being 'hounded' by the same papers I'd sold stories to the day before, the deep, insightful quotes that show the 'real me' ('The thing about fame is you can't switch it on... I mean, off!') And then, when my time was up, I'd take my rightful place in the growing herd of micro-celeb Norma Desmonds, who will one day turn their cracked, ageing faces to the cameras and growl: 'I'm ready for my kiss-and-tell, Mr Max Clifford.' or try my hand at resurrecting my career via the latest celebrity ballroom housecleaning on ice programme.</p> <p>Actually, I'm not sure I'd cut it as a micro-celeb. Not only am I a bit past it, I probably couldn't afford it - as micro-celeb of the moment Paris lookalike ( I still can;t rememeber her name, the name Charmin comes to mind, but I am sure that is a brand of toilet paper... oops<img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0">) could tell you, hair extensions, even the tatty ones that aren't torn from the heads of starving Russians, cost an absolute bomb these days. Then there's the wardrobe dilemma - my look currently leans towards 'whatever I can find thats clean', which is fine when said fast in an exotic accent, but might not be so good on the red carpet when the bulbs start flashing and a stray spark turns me into a human fireball. Call me pessimistic, but I can't see my revolutionary exercise-from-the-comfort-of-your-sofa ( i did buy a book on yoga!)/Champers and fat chips detox programme taking off. Not immediately anyway - though there could be mileage in a video....<br> And what of the emotional cost - the dreadful mental quandary of when to sleep with Callum Best/Dennis Rodman/Jude Law, and in which nightclub corridor?</p> <p>That's the downside of micro-celebrity - it's hard work and you don't know how micro it will end up. Goddesses like Charmin are all right with that - they have nerves of steel and the angels (of pure dumb luck) on their side. The rest of us, like the weedy chap from the band who likes Charmin, must take our chances in the postmodern primordial swamp of 'instant fame'.</p> <p>As an aside, a good friend in Dubai recently told me of 'a celebrity experience' party he went to. This included red carpets (for one to glide down), harassment by pretend paparazzi, mobs of fake screaming 'fans' ( aka rent a crowd), and, one presumes plenty of champagne, fake hair and fake tan once indoors.</p> <p>Admittedly, there is something essentially tragic about people literally buying their 15 minutes of fame, but is there really that much difference between them and Paris Hilton, who would doubtless be nowhere without the hard fact of her heiress millions (though to be fair, she did make what I hear was a very unusual and exuberant form of exercise video with a boyfriend - bet that would sell at WH Smith!)</p> <p>So- if you could be a celebrity.. who would you be and why!<img src="/img/smilies/icon_wave.gif" alt=":wave:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/21/a_different_life_i_wonder~581400/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/21/a_different_life_i_wonder~581400/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/oh_and_if_things_were_not_bad_enough~571302/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-02-17:/2006/02/17/oh_and_if_things_were_not_bad_enough~571302/Fri, 17 Feb 2006 23:01:12 +0100 <p>Obviously overcompensating for lack of posts... thought I must share this.. if things were generally not just pants enough, I manage to kill my mobile phone. How I hear you ask... well I dropped it down the stairs at work.... but not in a normal way...</p> <p>rather than dropping it down the stairs, with it bouncing of a couple of steps and then stopping, my phone bounces off the top step and in between the tiny gap between the wall and the stairwell....It wages a war of terror for 7 floors, leaving in its wake a host of tiny mobile missiles... so as I chase it down the stairs( blatantly losing the race)and swearing, I come across a poor chappie cowering in a corner, with his cup of tea down his front! My mobile had obviously attacked him on its descent of terror.....</p> <p>to his credit, he seemed more concerned about me and the remains of my poor mobile *( sign... RIP).... I did have to buy him a cup of tea and apologise profusely....</p> <p>so life goes on... xx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/oh_and_if_things_were_not_bad_enough~571302/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/oh_and_if_things_were_not_bad_enough~571302/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/so_what_will_the_new_year_bring~571274/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-02-17:/2006/02/17/so_what_will_the_new_year_bring~571274/Fri, 17 Feb 2006 22:45:06 +0100 <p>Stop procrastinating, lose weight, write a book, fall in love and be happy are traditional new year's resolutions and, currently, the top five goals on the website 43things.com. The site (aiming to inspire teenagers across the world... now there's a challenge) encourages you to post a list of 43 things you want to do with your life, where you want to go, who you want to be - and then to record what happens to your dreams. </p> <p>"Discover what's important, make it happen, share your progress," is the motto of 43things, believing that making a list of goals can "help you clarify" your aspirations. Even so, many of the users still haven't got the foggiest what they want to do: "Decide what the hell to do with the rest of my life", ranks highly. Here is a flavour of what's on the site: Nataliewitch from Indiana wants to "manage my bipolar disorder" and "try everything in the Kama Sutra". Nobodysperfect wants to "be the mom that my kids love" while Nataliethegoldfish wants to "fill in the gaps in the theory of evolution so we can dismiss once and for all Intelligent Design". SpiritofWinter simply wants to "transcend all the categories and become just an entity".</p> <p>Meanwhile, acts of random cruelty fester in people's fantasies. Abbeynormal wants to "point and laugh at people who have 'Drink More Water' as a goal". Cathy wants to "learn to ignore the immature people that leave stupid comments to my goals ... One of my goals is to hug a panda. This person comes from nowhere asking me if I am insane ... One of their goals was to succesfully raise RATS!"</p> <p>MomsL8 agrees: "There are people here who are obnoxious and don't use the site to their good advantages. Who cares whether my 'chores' are simple and I use big fonts?"</p> <p>So whats my resolution for 2006.... - "Sleep properly and not sweat the small stuff" - easier said than done!</p> <p>and for those of you who may need some inspiration - here are my top tips.... </p> <p>1) Watch Breakfast at Tiffany's<br> This new year, your not exactly arduous task is to rent Breakfast at Tiffany's and settle down with a coffee and croissant to study thand enjoy the best movie ever ( closely followed by the Breakfast Club.. hmm I sense a theme)</p> <p>2) Turn the humble cardigans in your wardrobe into weapons of seduction<br> Remember all those happy images of Mrs Mangel from Neighbours, fussing over boring plain Jane (Charlene called her that, not me, OK?), always griping about Madge, and always, always wearing her cardigan. OK, now wipe that happy piece of televisual history from your mind, because next season is all about - drum roll, please, with a touch of cymbal - the Sexy Cardigan.<br> Gather round, ladies and gents, and I shall explain: it all started with Prada's lovely little cardigans fastened with a brooch. And, er, that's it. But, leaving television references aside, why shouldn't the cardigan be sexy? It's feminine, it fits like billyo and it emphasises a part of the body I am told some men are fond of staring at. </p> <p>3) Read The Great Gatsby<br> Well, I say read because it sounds brainier, but if that's a bit taxing you can always watch the 1974 film, starring Robert Redford and Mia Farrow. </p> <p>4) Stop thinking that just because something looks good on Kate Moss it will look good on you<br> You know, I even have the photos. Me in over-the-jean boots; me in an army parka; me at a party without a lick of makeup (So casual! So downtown NY!); me in a properly frou-frou dress I bought purely because it looked, as I said to my mum, "sooooo vintage" (ie, it smelled and you could easily see why someone gave it away). And, hey, you know what? They ain't too pretty to look at. Although I may not have three sets of teeth and a hunch, I'm not Kate and no number of little round-toed pumps worn with jeans is going to change that. Aspiration is all very well, but self-delusion is just a step away from dressing like Barbara Cartland. </p> <p>5) Be more girly<br> It's time to get in touch with your feminine side - and boys, I don't mean you. Wear a dress, wear it with proper shoes, and wear it with pride. After all, if you refuse, you miss out on the truly scrumptious dresses on offer from the likes of Lanvin and, ahem, Miss Selfridge. </p> <p>6) Learn to drink coffee really neatly<br> This kind of ties in with the above. Look ladylike, act delicate - otherwise, most of the year's pay cheques are going straight to the dry-cleaners. Dresses are everywhere, and chiffon is the new denim -Which is all very lovely, but pale lemon chiffon is very different from indigo denim, as you'll find out if you get too breezy with the lattes. One stray elbow and your morning coffee will ruin the whole day's outfit. Table manners are very much in fashion this year. </p> <p>7) Get a normal haircut<br> Wouldn't it be great if people stared at you on a train because your haircut was sweet and flattering, and not because it looks as if your locks have been nibbled by rats? The odd haircut, that obsession of many an urban hairdresser, has come to an impasse: there is nothing weird left to do to hair that hasn't been done already. Men have bits shaved or sticking up in random places, women have a shock of dye that makes an already brutal shape all the more unapproachable. This year I'm making a stand: men should look neat and well-groomed, women's hair should be tousled and windblown, either from a walk on the beach or a swing round the dancefloor. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/so_what_will_the_new_year_bring~571274/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/so_what_will_the_new_year_bring~571274/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/i_m_back~571203/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2006-02-17:/2006/02/17/i_m_back~571203/Fri, 17 Feb 2006 22:21:09 +0100 <p>hello all my friends... after a long absence I am back. Been a v difficult few months for me as my brother was taken ill, I almost quit my job and broke up with boyfriend ( oops acquired and lost one since I last posted I think)</p> <p>so I promise to post a proper long message soon. Thanks to all of you who mailed me to check in - now must ctach up on all your news</p> <p>xx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/i_m_back~571203/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2006/02/17/i_m_back~571203/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/11/30/title~350492/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-11-30:/2005/11/30/title~350492/Wed, 30 Nov 2005 20:51:28 +0100 <p>Evening all, </p> <p>A rather controversial topic for this evening, as (as usual) have been catching up on my reading this week and just seen the bit about the report on rape victims. For those who have read it - would you agree it makes depressing reading? </p> <p>It found that around one in three people believes flirtatious behaviour on the part of a woman makes her partially responsible if she is subsequently raped; same applies for drunkenness, and even more people surveyed think that revealing clothing also confers a degree of responsibility. </p> <p>Am I wrong in thinking ( rather angrily) that this sort of pointless research contributes to rape rates remaining high and conviction rates remaining low. I mean come on - this survey is hardly likely to infuriate any potential rapists to the point at which they go out and look for a victim, but what are we to do with its information?</p> <p>Tabloids (and braodsheets and mags like Marie Claire) don't have a problem - they can trumpet their disgust at the lack of compassion and understanding it seems to display (the more confused and hypocritical the attitude towards women, the louder the trumpeting, obviously). </p> <p>But the rest of us are nowhere. It's infuriating to think that perhaps the people we know would shuffle their feet and say 'well, she *was* pretty pissed, and that dress didn't leave much to the imagination, sooo... cough...' if someone else we knew was attacked. But what do you do with said fury? If you're a woman, you might decide not to wear what you were going to wear tomorrow night after all; in which case you might feel afraid, pre-emptively guilty under the judgemental eye of the one-in-three, or just incredibly cross that other women might feel these things. Or incredibly cross that, seemingly, you should have to censure your own dress and social behaviour in order not just to protect yourself from harm, but to insulate yourself from blame for that harm.</p> <p>People are aware that rape often occurs in situations involving booze and short skirts and uninhibited behaviour; women are aware that they can take steps to protect themselves; judges are aware that it is often very difficult to reach a conclusion as to whether or not consent was given, or implied.</p> <p>This week a rape case was thrown out, when the woman alleging rape told the court she had been too drunk to recall whether or not she consented to sex. Also, two 16-year-old girls were jailed for perverting the course of justice after falsely alleging rape and kidnap. These are not likely to be the last such instances; both were taken very seriously up until a certain point, and while there's no arguing with the latter decision, there is doubt as to whether in the former case a decision should have been allowed to be made. People form opinions as to the effects of female inebriation and flirting based on the reporting of cases like these - Lets not forget the news today, where a young girl committed suicide after being raped last week... how does this sit with the above stories?</p> <p>Leaving a laptop bag on the front seat of an unalarmed car makes you partially responsible, in your foolishness, for its theft; you could have put it in the boot and greatly decreased your chances of being a victim of opportunistic crime. Showing your legs while getting a bit pissed and making saucy comments isn't really comparable; vulnerability does not equate to culpability. You can only take responsibility for your own actions, not for the actions - violent or otherwise - of others. You might think someone is rash for walking down a darkened alley at night, but you wouldn't think of blaming them if they were mugged or stabbed - that rape is seen differently speaks volumes about how people still mistake it for an extension of normal sex in all cases.</p> <p>You may make yourself more vulnerable to a certain type of rapist if you wear something skimpy, but that doesn't make skimpy clothing an irresponsible thing in itself. The suggestion that it is - that every drink, each bared centimetre of flesh and fluttered eyelash amounts to another point in favour of a rapist's partial exoneration - is a disgusting one, but not a surprising one. This is the public we're talking about, after all. </p> <p>Sadly the main result of the survey in the short term will probably be to make women more afraid. As such, it's little better than the endless forwarding of a hoax email about a new date rape drug that makes you sterile.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/11/30/title~350492/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/11/30/title~350492/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/11/28/i_m_back~345144/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-11-28:/2005/11/28/i_m_back~345144/Mon, 28 Nov 2005 20:26:49 +0100 <p>Hwllo all</p> <p>Apologies for the long silence, been travelling and generally hevctic and in between my computer died (resurrected now and called Lazurus!)</p> <p>Short post just to keep you amused - as part of my travels managed to catch up with the ex boyf and his new oops current lady friend! What a hoot (not). He had postponed their holiday so we could meet up so she obviously ( justifiably) disliked me before we even met. Had an excrutiatingly painful meal with her being either (a) abrupt and rude or (b) cooingly lovey dovey... depending ofcourse who she was directing her comments at!</p> <p>To make things worse ( though would it be sadistic of me to say I was enjoying the drama immensely!) the atmosphere got rather charged when she broke the news to him at dinner that she had changed their booking to the @honeymoon suite' as she had pretended to the hotel that yes... they were on their honeymoon! You have got to love it - his face got darker and darker and I was just trying not to laugh out loud!</p> <p>Sadly back to the grind so bear with me and I promise to post at some stage soon properly.... in between work, list making and the dreaded christmas shopping... no I forgot, its pink goats all round!</p> <p>xx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/11/28/i_m_back~345144/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/11/28/i_m_back~345144/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/11/03/title~281321/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-11-03:/2005/11/03/title~281321/Thu, 03 Nov 2005 20:28:47 +0100 <p>So, last week I went along to the filming of Have i got news for you - and loved it!</p> <p>Some say the show has lacked it's customary sparkle since Angus Deayton, ahem, departed, but so long as Paul Merton and Ian Hislop remain then there is more life than you can shake a stick at. Its brilliant to watch live - i laughed so much I almsot cried...</p> <p>The familiar rounds are in place, Odd One Out, What's This? and Complete The Headline and the whole thing zips along with the kind of easy familiarity that long running shoes tend to do. And that is the program's strength - all the participants know exactly where they stand, the style of humour, even the likely questions. With Ian Hislop and Paul Merton now masterminding things, you feel, the quips, comments and puns and flung back and forth with great speed and joy. Its a shame its so highly edited down for the 30 min bbc slot.... last week with Alan Duncan MP was hilarious!</p> <p>With all the usual digs at the Conservative Party, Tony and the Royalty, this remains one of the finest TV shows on British television. Long may it continue.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/11/03/title~281321/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/11/03/title~281321/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/26/christmas_is_coming_the_geese_are_gettin~263474/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-10-26:/2005/10/26/christmas_is_coming_the_geese_are_gettin~263474/Wed, 26 Oct 2005 20:06:49 +0200 <p> Hello all.<br> Thanks for the top de-stress tips - all good and I will keep you posted on how I go. have decided I am not helping myself by stressing about my stress - so I decided to focus on Christmas... its not that far away and so I decided to think about my christmas shopping - which has stressed me even moere....In my current state of misguided idealism (!!), I wnat to buy presents that would be more worthwhile than the usual greed-fest. </p> <p>And lets not forget - the nightmare of consumer choice - is it just me or do you ever just wish people would just give you something rather than the " I would like a coffee pls, with no froth some vanilla and a sprinkling of chocolate..yes skinny milk yes, oh in a biodegradebale cup and no I don't want a cookie but yes I would like a chocolate bar if its half price and no I do not want to contribute to the fund for starving goats,....aaaargh! ALL I WANT IS A CUP OF COFFEE!</p> <p>FYI in an avg supermarket that sells 40,000 items it is thought there are around 18 types of organic cheese, 600 kinds of coffee and more than 400 brands of shampoo. </p> <p>I hate Christmas shopping fever which is starting to kick in, buying stuff for people who have too much already. It's enough to make Santa's helpers wonder about the point of it all, especially when they're already suffering from low elf esteem! Boom Boom. Am I theonly one distressed when I enter waitrose/ boots/ any shop and see the festive christmas catalogues stacked by the shop entrance?</p> <p>Except it's even tougher being a save-the-planet shopper. And what's causing the difficulty is that I have manage to get my hands on an ethical Christmas present catalogue. </p> <p>Instead of getting someone a seasonal breadmaker ( as used by Jamie Oliver so naturally you will turn into a top bread making chef by proxy), you buy a goat for a village in Africa and send a certificate to your friends who were expecting a body shop basket at the very least, saying what you've bought with their present money.</p> <p>These present-donation schemes spring up all over the placeas Christmas approaches, with names like Starving While You Stuff Your Face With Fancy Canapes or I'm Going to Die Before You Finish Your Glass of Some POsh Sounding Wine. </p> <p>And the general thrust is that while we're living the life of Mr and Mrs Riley ( or Miss Riley for the singletons out there!), people in poor countries are in desperate need of a slice of the Christmas pudding. </p> <p>Except I've been hard-wired as a consumer and even when it comes to third-world aid, I still can't help acting like a shopper. </p> <p>So I start thinking whether it's better value to get the goat or maybe go for a couple of immunisations instead or maybe school supplies. Or even splash out and irrigate a field. Perhaps the chickens would be more practical, Ikea would probably deliver a flat-pack coop to sub-Saharan Africa (can't be any more complicated than getting them to deliver to east London). </p> <p>When people talk about modern culture, all it really means is buying things. You get up, drive somewhere bleak and buy things, drive home and feel exhausted. This is known in these parts as "Bluewatering". </p> <p>Since I was a member at school I have been getting a magazine from Amnesty International which asks people to write for the release of political detainees. And each month I decide who I'm going to write for - and its like... gasp... picking something out on the internet!</p> <p>The srtist who's been hung up by his ankles for 20 years or the feisty african lawyer who's being tortured by secret servicemen. Or a couple of students who are being held under house arrest for waving placards ....</p> <p>So I start thinking, who shall I choose? Who looks the most deserving? But then in this world of misguided idealism -n none of the government officials ever write back - and then I start getting postcode-envy, because I wouldn't mind being able to afford to live in the places in London where I'm sending these letters. </p> <p>It's as if the whole ghastly world of design, marketing and do-up-your-house programmes ( aka carol smilie and that chap with the long hair and ruffled shirts) has got inside everything. </p> <p>But back to the shopping. What colours do these goats come in? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/26/christmas_is_coming_the_geese_are_gettin~263474/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/26/christmas_is_coming_the_geese_are_gettin~263474/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/24/burned_out~258911/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-10-24:/2005/10/24/burned_out~258911/Mon, 24 Oct 2005 20:14:15 +0200 <p>AArgh and yet again the weeks merge into one, and chrsitmas themed things are now in the shops - where did the summer go?</p> <p>long absence yet again, brought on by work sadly and just no time to sit down and think! little bro is in hospital and things generally just not good at all!</p> <p><a href="http://www.mindtools.com/stress/Brn/AvoidBurnout.htm">http://www.mindtools.com/stress/Brn/AvoidBurnout.htm</a></p> <p>so according to the site above - I am burned out -so rather than moan at you - i wnat to know yourtop stress relief tips pls ( and no a bottle of anything alcoholic does not count!)- everything i read tells me to - (a) look at the sea - not much good when you live in central london (b) go for a walk - again not much good if you live inc central london as you would choke on the traffic fumes.. plus its cold and wet...(c)laugh... well how can you do that sitting at home alone unless you find somehing funny to watch...almost time for east enders so must go now - the mitchell brothers are back - hooraahh</p> <p>promise to post something more cerebral soon, at this stage too tired but did want to say hello! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/24/burned_out~258911/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/24/burned_out~258911/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/09/sychroncity~225632/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-10-09:/2005/10/09/sychroncity~225632/Sun, 09 Oct 2005 23:30:56 +0200 <p>The end of what seems like an all too short but very lovely and relaxing weekend! apologies for the absence but been having a very stressful time at work, and still going through the period of re-evaluating my life! Thanks to those who have been checking the blog - nice to feel wanted :-)</p> <p>So lots been happening lately that has made me step back and think about whats important - I know I'm not unique in that respect,as I am sure every one has this phases- however mine seems to be lasting longer than most and my thoughts seem to be taking a certain direction..</p> <p>I'm not a particularly spiritual or religious person, as no doubt you would have worked out from some of my other posts - however of late, I seem to be noticing a lot of coincidences! Sychronicity or serendipity? Without wanting to labour the point about the meaning of life etc -it has got me thinking...(and wasn;t there a song by the Police with the same name?:-)</p> <p>Carl Jung defined synchronicity as "The coincidence in time of two or more causally unrelated events which have the same meaning." His implication is clear--certain events in the universe cluster together into meaningful patterns without recourse to the normal pushes and pulls of causality. These synchronicities therefore must transcend the normal laws of science, for they are the expressions of much deeper movements that originate in the ground of the universe and involve, in an inseparable way, both matter and meaning. </p> <p>My reading tells me that coincidences are often a sign that you are going with the flow of life, doing what your heart desires (divine will) and following your in-tuition (inner guidance - gut feeling). </p> <p>I wonder if I am overly sensitive to these so called co-incidences, because of my introspection, or whether these supposed coincidences really are giving me a message or guidance? An example is about a situation I am in and my thoughts around how to address that situation... which has been giving me a few sleepless nights... then today I buy the Sunday Observer - whcih I have never bought and only bought as they did not have the sunady times.. and in the magazine was an article addressing a similar issue...! coincidence or not?</p> <p>I'd be interested to hear your views - have you ever experienced these or like most, do you consider coincidences, merely a result of cause and effect and nothing more? Are the events of our lives ultimately objective or subjective? Is there a deeper order, an overarching purpose to the universe? Or are we the lucky accidents of evolution, living our precious but brief lives in a fundamentally random world that has only the meaning we choose to give it?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/09/sychroncity~225632/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/09/sychroncity~225632/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/i_m_back~222006/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-10-07:/2005/10/07/i_m_back~222006/Fri, 07 Oct 2005 20:21:27 +0200 <p>hello folks</p> <p>Been offline for a while - work and the fact that my PC died ( RIP :-))... anyways am back and will post this weekend I promise.... lots that has been happening and lots that I have been thinking about - so will organise my thoughts and post on the weekend!</p> <p>x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/i_m_back~222006/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/i_m_back~222006/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/28/pornography_or_politics~206616/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-09-28:/2005/09/28/pornography_or_politics~206616/Wed, 28 Sep 2005 21:34:15 +0200 <p>Sorry I have not posted ina while. work is craxy and I will not talk about love life as its complicated to say the least... however I am heartended by having read about the latest love theory.... they say true love never did run smooth and now scientists know why!!</p> <p> Love, according to a this theory, is not a matter of lightning bolts or raw sexual desire but of pornography and politics. </p> <p>Its proponents, who claim to be able to predict marital happiness, say society has the recipe for love all wrong: opposites do not attract. Instead, the only way to a life of happiness together is to share a single opinion, or more specifically, 25 of them. </p> <p>'Society today goes around the matter of finding love in the completely wrong way,' said Dr Glenn Wilson, a psychologist at the University of London and co-author of The Science of Love . </p> <p>'We tend to dismiss people who don't fit the blueprint of perfection in our heads but our research proves that true love is doomed unless we have a number of what might appear to be mundane and obscure things in common. </p> <p>'There is obviously an area of love that involves chemistry and animal attraction,' Wilson said. 'But our research found 24 areas where - unless the couples felt almost identically - their relationship would be in trouble before long.' </p> <p>Wilson has spent two decades applying the science of psychometric testing to the art of love, and devised the Compatibility Quotient, or CQ, test by studying the most severe causes of marital friction on test couples and whittling down the list to 25 vital areas. </p> <p>He is so confident of the value of his CQ test that he and Jon Cousins, the former creative director of an advertising company, have founded Cybersuitors.com, an internet dating agency which uses the theory to match clients. </p> <p>Each applicant is asked their opinion on each one of the 25 areas, and given five different answers to choose from. Each reply is compared with those of every other member on the database, and a list is produced of those with most similarities. </p> <p>'We have found that the CQ score is a virtual predictor of marital happiness,' said Cousins, who found love himself on the site<br> 'Even though I helped devise the test, I would not necessarily have applied such a cut-and-dried approach to my own life until it happened almost by accident.' </p> <p>After completing his own test, Cousins found he shared a CQ score of 134 with another member, 34 points higher than the 100 indicating average compatibility. </p> <p>'I could not resist contacting her to see if this magic formula would work for me and, although it is still early days, it is certainly a deeper relationship than any I have been in for a long time,' he said. </p> <p>Wilson admitted that although it was important for couples to share a range of common interests and values - including views on the type of relationship they wanted, children, sexual fidelity and leisure activities - he was surprised by some of the areas in which concordance was vital for long-term happiness. </p> <p>'Differing opinions on pornography and politics were most likely to spell disaster in any long-term relationship. Women were eight times more likely to admit their relationship was unhappy if their view on pornography differed from their partner's,' he said. </p> <p>'The big issue with men was if their woman was more, or less, experienced in bed than they were: that spelt long-term unhappiness for 40 per cent of men.' </p> <p>Couples who like similar food were three times likelier to stay happy than those whose taste buds clashed, while those agreeing on what to watch on TV were three and a half times more likely to experience marital bliss than those who vie for control of the remote. </p> <p>Also vital for conjugal harmony was agreement over the value of chivalry - 'that's our way of discovering what they feel about feminism,' said Wilson - and a shared desire for pets. </p> <p>There is, however, one area where it was better to disagree: alcohol. Cousins said: 'Partnerships where one member drank heavily and the other abstained were deeply content. </p> <p>'While other differences seemed to lead inevitably to unhappiness in long-term relationships, differences in drinking habits brought couples closer together.' </p> <p>hmm! any thoughts?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/28/pornography_or_politics~206616/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/28/pornography_or_politics~206616/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/darcy_or_rsey~186586/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-09-17:/2005/09/17/darcy_or_rsey~186586/Sat, 17 Sep 2005 15:01:45 +0200 <p>I get the papers this morning to find yet another advert for the latest version of Pride and Prejudice, this time with Keira Knightley... and that chap from Spooks whose name I can't remember.. playing Darcy.</p> <p>I wrote a few weeks ago on the pull of romantic literature for women and the types of fictional heroes and I read again this morning that Darcy is women's favourite fictional romantic icon. </p> <p>According to a recent poll conducted by some prize for fiction, women across the generations voted for Mr Darcy as the man they would most like to go on a date with. He was also the fictional character women would most like to invite to a dinner party - which strikes me as odd, as surely Mr Darcy would spend the evening either gazing at the ceiling grunting with boredom or glowering at the guests( Maybe this is where the Dinner in the dark concept originated?)</p> <p>Now,,most women I know, swoon/ coo/ make other appropriate noises at the mention of the one and only Darcy in most peoples eyes... Colin Firth.</p> <p>I rememeber the tv adapation - aorund 10 years ago and I think the moment he became forever identified in the eyes of multitudes of adoring women was probably owing to the scene when he clambered out of the lake after an early morning swim, with the character of a man who may be repressed and difficult but, at the same time, is morally upright and devastatingly sexy. </p> <p>Of course, Austen's novel betrays nothing of Darcy's actual sexuality or lack of it. Apart from being subject to the obvious restrictions of a female writer in Regency times, she may also have realised that the best sex scenes reside in the secret imagination of her readers....</p> <p>But what she does provide is a perfect screen on to which Darcy's admirers, by identifying with Elizabeth Bennet, can project that most archetypal of all female fantasies - that they will be the one and only woman to discover the key to unlocking a man's tortured soul, thus setting free his hidden passions( I know I have mistakenly thought that in the past.. lesson learnt!)</p> <p>It's natural that such a fantasy held sway over women two centuries ago. When society was deeply patriarchal, men like Darcy really were severe, remote and all-powerful - in the novel, Darcy even describes himself as "selfish and overbearing". Women were separated from men by all sorts of formal conventions which left them little opportunity to get to know men until after they were married. </p> <p>The question I have is, why does Darcy continue to have a compelling hold over women, particularly educated literary women, in the 21st century? </p> <p>As modern women with our wealth of relationship experience and all the benefits brought about by feminism, we should know better. The fact is that dark, smouldering, moody, charismatic, arrogant Darcy types, whom we hate at first sight and then later find ourselves falling in love with, often - particularly after we have married them - turn out to be rigid, dominating and controlling. </p> <p>What message is this Darcy fixation sending to men? On the one hand, women say they want men who are emotionally intelligent, sensitive, flexible, who enjoy sharing equally and are fun to be with. But these same women are swooning over a fictional character who is the epitome of the dominant patriarchal male. No wonder men are confused! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/darcy_or_rsey~186586/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/darcy_or_rsey~186586/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/title~172211/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-09-09:/2005/09/10/title~172211/Sat, 10 Sep 2005 00:23:28 +0200 <p>So after a long week at work ( got home at 8 pm on a friday and i work 20 mins from where I live!) - decided to stay in with the DVD as was shattered and feeling antisocial. I watched the butterfly effect with Ashton Kutcher.. quite a nice brainless friday evening sort of movie. Anyway apart from trying to work out the significance of the movies title in relation to the plot ( negligible) I got thinking aboutthe butterfly effect...</p> <p>The flap of a butterfly's wings in Hyde Park could ultimately cause an earthquake in Japan. So say Google when describing chaos theory ie 'the butterfly effect' describes how small and apparently insignificant incidents can set in motion a chain of events with far reaching consequences. </p> <p>Me being me... was trying to reason this out... here's my theorising...</p> <p>Day 1<br> A butterfly - can't comment on variety - spreads itself across a leaf in Hyde Park. It stretches lazily in the warm sunshine and contentedly flaps its wings. This motion generates a small current of air, barely perceptible, but sufficient enough to divert the course of an airborne seed. The seed lands beside a pathway and begins to germinate.</p> <p>Day 357<br> One year later and the seed has blossomed into a thriving example of a Himalyan blossoming vine. It spreads its tangled strands out across the adjacent path. An early-morning runner fails to notice it as he is jogging along. He becomes entangled and falls, breaking his ankle and spilling coffee on the lady he almost fell on</p> <p>Dasy 358<br> At a nearby hospital, the runner is waiting for the results of his X-ray. He decides that something should be done to prevent others from having similar accidents. As luck would have it, he happens to work for the Mayor's office, where he has some influence. At his request, a program of defoliation is begun to eradicate all traces of the himalayan vine from the park and instead build 300 four foot flats for those desperate to live in central london</p> <p>day 400<br> All traces of the troublesome vine have now been cleared. The vine was also home to a species of beetle and these too are wiped out - starving the local population of the local parrots who feed on them. The parrots are forced to find other sources of food and for a while they make a nuisance of themselves by raiding trashcans, pooing on the new flats, harassing peopleon their 12 inch balconies and occasionally carrying off small pets. However, they cannot adapt and they soon begin to die off. In their natural habitat they used to feed on the agentinian oyster snails.</p> <p>Day 420<br> The parrot is a remarkable bird in that it usually expires in the air - rather than on the ground, up a tree or in a cat, like most birds. London suddenly finds itself plagued by falling birds as the dead parrots plummet from the skies, mid-flap. Sales of crash helmets rise steeply.</p> <p>Day 489<br> Whilst some crash helmets are made from specially hardened synthetic composites, they are no match for the traditional variety, fashioned from the shell of the Argentian Oyester Circus Snail. The snail is so called because of its fondness for acrobatics. Sadly, despite the hours of practice they put in every day, most snails given their natural propensity for being slow,make poor circus acts, and so they have developed specially hardened shells to protect them from injury. Because of the increase in demand for crash helmets, their numbers soon begin to decline.</p> <p>Day 523<br> The shells of the smails are also used to make stylish lobster pots, which after being featured in the sunday times style magazine, are the latest must have for your home. However, with fewer snails available, lobster fishermen have to rely on other materials. These new pots are just not up to the job. The lobsters themselves are certainly not impressed and simply gather around them, pointing and laughing contemptuously at the thought of something in Paris Hiltons bathroom being worthy of catching them out.</p> <p>Day 568<br> The lobster population swells out of control. They become rowdy and boisterous - holding underwater raves, getting high on seaweed and playing katrina and the waves records until four o-clock in the morning. The octopuses that live next door start to get really hacked off with it. Octopuses are usually quiet and genial creatures, who are at their happiest when left alone to do word puzzles. But on this occasion they realise that something has to be done, and so they decide to stage a sit-in.</p> <p>Day 600<br> Octopuses from all over the world gather in the Atlantic Ocean to protest. Their numbers are so great that they disrupt shipping and cut off the Gulf Stream, the current which supplies warm water to the North Atlantic.</p> <p>day 601<br> With the Gulf Stream disrupted, the world begins to freeze. The arctic ice begins to encroach on Canada, Asia and Northern Europe. Before long the tundra has enveloped Manchester, and the polar bears move in and turn it into a winter resort - its the place the royal family now go ski-ing.</p> <p>Day 610<br> As luck would have it, a syndicate of four million penguins from Antarctica have won a fortune on the lottery and, hearing that the skiing in Manchester is particularly good at this time of year, they decide to blow all their winnings on a vacation. As penguins can't fly, they invest in rocket packs and set off en masse.</p> <p>dya612<br> Passing through Indian airspace, the captain of a Uzbekistani plane is astounded to see four million penguins wearing rocket packs approaching him, directly on his flight path. The penguins are equally surprised and swerve abruptly to miss the plane. Unfortunately, they fly smack into Mount Everest, knocking the top off. The shock wave travels around the world, triggering earthquakes in - amongst other places - California, Japan and China.</p> <p>...!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/title~172211/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/title~172211/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/05/title~164415/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-09-05:/2005/09/05/title~164415/Mon, 05 Sep 2005 21:55:02 +0200 <p>Ok, So after my general morose ramblings of the weekend I am back on frivolous form.... so those of you expecting an intellectual debate, turn away now....</p> <p>and tonights blog is about... Channel 4's Lost. Am I the only one, who despite sneering at the trailers have ended up watching it with some curiousity? OOh the mystery of not knowing.... What do you all think/.</p> <p> So.... the plane has crashed into a secret south pacific island that is home to secreter-than-secret government research. Or the plot has been liberated from the 1987 Schwarzenegger movie, Predator, and the island is a theme park-cum-feeding ground for aliens. Or the 'survivors' are in fact dead and in purgatory. Or they're all alive but in a kind of weird collective coma. Or they're clones, or aliens, or brainwashed members of the CIA (the labrador? The little boy? The Valley princess? Maybe not). Or (clutching at straws here) they're a coach party on their way to Bognor Regis ... whatever, I just hope it's not all a Bobby Ewing-style dream.</p> <p>I hate to admit it but I'm googling fan sites , quite fancy some merchandise from the ABC website, am thinking that the first season's DVD boxed set (it runs to 25 episodes; they're currently showing repeats in the States) ... plus it means I can find out what happens NOW!</p> <p>I love the cheese factor... all the predictable ones are there... we have a mysteriously crashing aeroplane (acknowledging our fear of terrorism and/or mistrust of technology) containing a bunch of archetypal characters (handsome hero, complex heroine, funny bloke, angry guy, sad guy, vulnerable kid, middle-eastern bogeyman, old mystery man, fat bloke, ditzy blonde, bitch, etc ... ) all hiding their own secrets and lies and trying to survive attacks from (at least one) invisible but noisy monster lurking on a beautiful-but-terrifying Isle of Weirdness (Americans are as obsessed as we are with the escape-from-reality reality TV genre), ). To say nothing of the polar bear.</p> <p>Lost is as bsilly and implausible and expensively glossy as american cheesy tv can get , and I love it. Indeed the only thing that irritates me thus far is the admission by writer and executive producer JJ Abrams ( who also did Alias, which was equally fun mindless watching) that he has enough plot treats up his sleeve for the show to run for another eight years. AAARGH!</p> <p>Eight years? I don't want Lost to run for eight years. Will Jacks hair ever grow or stay cropped and sexy? Will pregnant girl ever have the baby, and what is the monster in the jungle??</p> <p>I'll be watching next week.. unless someone wants to reveal the secrets ?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/05/title~164415/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/05/title~164415/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/03/sad~158999/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-09-03:/2005/09/03/sad~158999/Sat, 03 Sep 2005 01:36:48 +0200 <p>Hello all. the end of another ( somewhat stressful) week, and I have headed home after a ha;f hearted attempt at a night out. Apart from the usual complaints of a long and hard week, late nights , generally being feeble and not able to take the pace, I'm a bit sad this week. Sitting in a bar, with a glass of champagne,with my friends around me, I felt totally alone.</p> <p>For the first time in a long time, I'm going to talk about why. I feel slightly ashamed writing this, as if I am betraying myself or a secret. In actuality, I think all I am doing is voicing something I should have a long long time ago.</p> <p>8 years ago, one of my oldest and best friends died suddenly. And died in a horrific violent way as she was in India, in a building that collapsed. They were not able to find her entire body, but only parts of it. Its her birthday in a couple of days and I cannot believe that for a brief while, I had forgotten all about her. I am so angry at myself - she would have been 30 in a few days.</p> <p>I remember the disbelief when I heard the news, the shock - the absolute horror. I remember crying and crying, and when I was too tired to cry anymore, I remember an empty feeling inside me, a feeling I have today as I write this, with tears in my eyes.</p> <p>I won't say much more as it upsets me too much, but you can get the gist. What upsets me more is when I think about it - about dying and death - well I don't know what to think. Ofcourse I want to think that she is in a happier place - but in reality, who the hell knows?</p> <p>It has always made me think of my own mortality, and my cowardice at not wanting to suffer a painful death - when I do, I want to die quickly and painlessly. What am I so afraid of? Is it the finality of death - there is no reversal, no remedy, no more tomorrow or the uncertainty of what follows - Socrates has made the case since we really don't know what will happen, we should not fear. But uncertainty coupled with finality can create a potential for terror.<br> Thinking back to my friend S, I also have a fear of the pain and loneliness in dying - with no one i love or care for by my side.</p> <p>And I am angry, angry that I ( and all of us) carried on with our lives, without really stopping to mourn and to grieve. We don't talk about her now, I do try, but whenever I do I get an uncomfortable silence followed by an unconvincing comment from someone trying to be open and supportive and failing.</p> <p>I feel like I have not grieved properly, but I don't know what else I need to do. I have had the tears and the sleepless nights. I know you should not rush the healing process. I have immersed myself in my life, my family, my work and my friends. But every so often,like tonight, its just not enough.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/03/sad~158999/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/09/03/sad~158999/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/26/handbags_and_high_heels~144344/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-08-26:/2005/08/26/handbags_and_high_heels~144344/Fri, 26 Aug 2005 18:30:06 +0200 <p>I recently read that Mills and Boons were planning on " updating" their stories to reflect the modeen age... now what sort of image leaps to mind when you hear the words 'romantic fiction'? A heaving bosom, clinging to a broad yet cruel chest? A dastardly lord, an innocent virgin, a manly gardener? or going the chick lit route, the modern romantic novel might just as easily feature a promiscuous drunk in a designer suit, fighting off the dastardly lords with skills picked up in her jujitsu class.( yes, given the stresses of work, I have put down Michael Palins 'Himalaya' for the less cerebral pleasures of the FGs guide to decorum and various others of that ilk as no doubt you have noticed)... </p> <p>My conclusion after my less than literary, but very enjoyable pursuits of late ? When you get down to it, all romantic fiction, from Jane Austen to Jilly Cooper, is essentially a search for the ideal sperm. They just used to dress it up a bit more in the past: the ideal sperm in the ideal frock coat. The modern romantic novel gets to the point a little faster and you all know what the etiqute guides are like.... There are still devilish squires roaming the world of romantic fiction, but there are also the Bridget Joneses and the Tiffany Trotts - after all, women who drink and put it about deserve love too <img src="/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif" alt=":DD" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>There are an enormous number of high-achieving women in their thirties who are attractive, earning a high salary and still looking for love.... .. there are plenty of us out there </p> <p>What I worry about though is the preconception that I am a Bridget Jones... I am NOT!!.' The heroines I have read about do however range from the Bridget Jones types, who talk obsessively about their desire for a man - in her case, a Colin Firth clone in his role as Darcy in the Pride and Prejudice ( as an aside - phwoaar!) - to protagonists like those in Katie Fforde's novels, who feel fulfilled on their own and meet ideal men quite by chance ( thats more like it!)</p> <p>I've talked before, about being caught in the "I'm not sure what I want. We are brought up in a culture of self-fulfilment, which we don't want to sacrifice for a man, but we still want to give.".....?! </p> <p>So much for us women.... </p> <p>But what about our romantic heroes? Is he still the same dashing horse-straddler he always was? A fat, bald hero is harder to sell to a reader I suppose?</p> <p>Wuthering Heights set a rather awkward standard for romantic heroes ( I for one have had many a young fantasy about Heathcliff until I grew up, re read the book and realised you have to be careful of the domineering, violent man) </p> <p>I want a hero who will talk to me and make jokes. Women need to grow out of the archetypal thrusting alpha-male who gives you a hard time; we've got to be more mature and look for the hero who is neither a wimp nor a womaniser and thats what these books seem to excel at... </p> <p>Another theme that seems to have lasted through the years is that of the thrity something ....In jane austens last novel,Persuasion, Anne Elliot is 27 (37 now in romantic novel terms).... Unlike Bridget Jones and Tiffany Trott, however, poor Anne, 'the bloom of youth far behind her', has a fairly empty life before love gallops to her rescue !!</p> <p> In the days when the stay at home readers dreamed of a good and lucrative marriage, a good and lucrative marriage is what the heroine got. Now that romantic novels are read on the train home by tired, hopeful career women, they feature gorgeous hunks arriving in the lives of tired, hopeful career women..... </p> <p>these novels are not escapist but, instead, set in the world that we women encounter every day. The genre can be seen as banal, but you have to ask yourself, in the end, which is the more "escapist" - Allison Pearson's very funny novel about a career woman in crisis in corporate Britain or Michael Palins journey through the mountains ( which incidentally is a fantastic book in its own right).</p> <p>The reason I emjoy chick-lit and turn to it in times of stress is that I can guarantee, as I turn the pages (sometimes stuck together with a flake of chocolate or a splash of sun tan lotion) that I will never encounter the following: a grisly detailed autopsy, a dead body in a back alley, terrorists holding the world to ransom, a nuclear explosion, the jammed landing gear of a private jet or the outbreak of a deadly virus . Instead its a jolly romp with a happy ending and its todays world, who can begrudge me a happy ending.. even ifs its shortlived and cost £6.99!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/26/handbags_and_high_heels~144344/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/26/handbags_and_high_heels~144344/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/22/the_fabulous_girl_mark_2/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-08-22:/2005/08/22/the_fabulous_girl_mark_2/Mon, 22 Aug 2005 23:14:02 +0200 <p>Given the interest my post on decorum provoked (though not sure about oral sex in supermarkets BB?-) I thought I would update you as I am still dipping in and out of " The fabulous girls guide to decorum" </p> <p>While the book described the fabulous girl ( think breakfast at tiffanys) I managed to drop a dollop of curry onto my trousers. Sadly, there is nothing in the FG's Guide about how to get through the rest of the evening with an absolutely not fabulous stain. Bet Audrey Hepburn never had to deal with curry stains or being addicted to her blackberry....</p> <p>However... here are a few more choice snippets and not a supermarket in sight...</p> <p>Big boss sex (post-Monica Lewinsky) :- "There is one pervasive myth about the workplace that needs to be dispelled: never sleep with your boss. This is propagated by people who have never known the pleasures of such an exciting affair... The risk of big boss sex is not in your career: the danger lies in what your colleagues will think..." </p> <p>BB - this ones for you....</p> <p>First-night sex protocol: "Just as you wouldn't dream of meeting someone without saying hello, so too should you say hello in the bedroom introduction. That's right, we mean oral sex, so get down there and say a quick but friendly hello to everyone involved. It needn't be a lengthy discourse just 'Hello, it's wonderful to meet you.' And you absolutely should expect a reciprocal hello from the new lover. Not only does the absence of this nicety reflect a lack of manners on his part, it may bode poorly for your sexual future with him." </p> <p>And morning-after protocol. "It's very rude to be squeamish about sharing your toothbrushes with someone you've slept with. And it's better than showing off your extensive collection of brand new ones kept for this purpose." But If someone's really an asshole you don't have to share your toothbrush." </p> <p>And here is their ( sorry laughing out loud) position on bondage. "Occasionally you'll come across a man who still thinks tying you up to the bed is the naughtiest thing anyone has ever imagined. Go ahead and make his day. No one ever ties those flimsy silk scarves tight enough to really restrain you anyway, so what the hell?"</p> <p>and on that note... sweet dreams all...:-)</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/22/the_fabulous_girl_mark_2/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/22/the_fabulous_girl_mark_2/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/22/title_20033/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-08-22:/2005/08/22/title_20033/Mon, 22 Aug 2005 22:43:35 +0200 <p>hello all, sorry for the silence but had a very busy week or so at work !<br> I had pledged that with new role I would try and get the old work- life balance back ... failed at that so far. </p> <p>As part of that, I thought I would start to wean myself off going online everynight to check emails/ blogs etc... However I am now battling a bigger evil... one that threatens my very blog ( shock) existance.. because instead of coming home and updating my blog... I have been seduced...and not my the cocktail waiter of my imaginations but by my blackberry! </p> <p>Its charms are powerful, seductive, its smart and clever. It knows my anxieties, my insecurities, and has hit all those buttons until I was vibrating like a tuning fork ( sadly, there is just one thing it can't do....!!) . </p> <p>its read its Freud....We all hunger to be wanted, to be significant. And that's exactly what it promises. Its always there for me, alive with the expectation of connection. </p> <p>After never having one, there is an implied professional status in simply owning one. When people find out I have one there are knowing nods and the assumption that along with the gadget comes some sort of professional competence....</p> <p>Now that every five-year-old can have a clamshell 3G videophone with the crazy frog ringtone, what's left for the executive about town? This is not frivolity, it states, this is work. I am so important, so flipping necessary that I eschew the slimline and beautiful in order to clamp this thing to my ear and check my email every other minute.</p> <p> I'm constantly on the lookout for validation in others similarly afflicted, like any one with an addict, you look for people like you... I seek them out on the train home, if only to exchange a knowing nod and a resigned shrug. </p> <p>It has its pros... even in the world's least comfortable social position (alone at a party full of strangers or waiting at a bar for someone who is running late), you are not alone. Not for me the hovering around the soggy tortilla chips. I look important and, in turn, is it true that others will want to talk to me because you're the kind of person who warrants a BlackBerry. A win-win. </p> <p>Perhaps the definitive beauty of the BlackBerry is the ability to be everywhere at once. In the hairdressers? No one need know. Bit late this morning? Simply email from the train. A control freaks paradise and for those less organised its a saviour....(an aside is that its fiddly as hell to try and type on it)</p> <p>.... is it our need for constant stimulation, the need to be reminded time and again that we exist and that our existence means something, that we aren't alone in the universe? That we're important, necessary, that at every moment someone is thinking of us? How else to account for that thrilling jolt we experience each time it vibrates to life, delivering a fresh message -- even when it's not particularly good news?<br> hmmm I sense I have paranoia and obsessively speedy reactions to look forward too</p> <p>Why can't I put it down and walk away? I have promised myself balance... </p> <p>I sometimes wonder if its starting to the very way I think -- suppressing my ability to reflect, to ponder, to be deliberative and thoughtful rather than knee-jerk and immediate. </p> <p>So whats my solution? I'm just going to switch it off, pour myself a glass of vino and take a bath.... so thats it.... until I check it on the way to work tomorrow :-)</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/22/title_20033/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/22/title_20033/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/16/aural_hallucinations/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-08-16:/2005/08/16/aural_hallucinations/Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:28:40 +0200 <p>Frivolous and short post tonight as I am tired :- For some inexplicable reason, I have the new song by girls aloud playing over and over in my brain.. (" its been a long hot summer and its 99 degrees in the shade"..). I hasten to point out that I am not a girls aloud fan, but it happened to be on the radio last night as I was doing the washing up!</p> <p>Apparently this is officially called a " Brain itch" or as the germans say an "ohrwurm" - an earworm...?</p> <p>I know a couple of weeks ago, I read that having an ipod can cause aural hallucinations... so its not just having a song play over and over in your head but instead its like listening to the entire cd ( how horrfic)</p> <p>Here are the top 5 songs I would hate to hallucinate about :- </p> <p>1. The crazy frog<br> 2. Barbie girl<br> 3.teletubbies<br> 4. achy breaky heart<br> 5.love theme from titanic ( that goes on and on and on) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/16/aural_hallucinations/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/16/aural_hallucinations/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/15/title_17792/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-08-15:/2005/08/15/title_17792/Mon, 15 Aug 2005 20:24:38 +0200 <p>The one day I manage to leave work at a decent hour, I get shoved out of the way in Waitrose by a ( there is no other words for it - sorry) chavtastic blonde women screeching down her mobile phone ( " Yer Em, I'll get the gherkins and we can stick them on sticks, they will go well with the Waitrose special chardonaaaay ") as she wandered the aisles trying to buy some pickled gherkins, as her sparking thong stuck out of the back of her jeans... etiquette prevents me from commenting on the size of the backside, that the unfortunate thong was adorning.</p> <p>Point being (a) I was trying hard to get inspired re creating canapes for a party I am having - the vision of a perfect hostess is as far away from me at the moment as you can get and (b) whatever happended to good manners and etiquette. Am I the only one who gets riled at the basic level of discourtesy with which most people seem to operate?<br> Having recently read something about DeBretts, curiosuity prompted me to have a quick look in my local Books Etc to see if this was a lost art or one on the verge of rediscovery.</p> <p>Coming back to manners, more so than anything else, are the true measure of a civilisation. The worlds most developed countries can boast of military might, great literature and high-speed internet access, but dignity and discipline are defined by politeness. So, what should we do about the increasing evidence that we are becoming a boorish, imbecilic, uncultured society? And please don't tell me " Ladette to Lady" is the answer?</p> <p>I found many versions ( all very sex and the city) " fabulous girls guide to etiquette" or " cheap chic" and many other iterations. Out of interest I bought " the fabulous girls guide to decorum" and was intrigued to see rather than manners and how to fold a napkin into a swan..hot topics are whether first-night blowjobs are the done thing (apparently it's rude not to), and what to do if you are engaged to one man and find yourself pregnant by someone else (call off the wedding and relinquish the ring). </p> <p>Now when I think etiquette I think of Emily Post ( is that her?) and images of happy housewives with immaculate hair waiting with a martini for the man of the house to come home, of teacosys and geometrically correct cucumber sandwiches and never serving tea in a mug... </p> <p>Like any other how-to manual, etiquette guides trade on the fairy godmother promise that they will by waving a wand, transform us into someone else, someone better, and they have to make us fall a little bit in love with that person.. the smart stylish polite funny audrey hepburnish type of girl - who always knows what to say or can rustle up a three course meal with the " staples " from her cupboard ( these normally include roasted vegetables, caper berries and some sort of fancy cheese).</p> <p>I for one, would love to learn everything from how to have your man begging for MORE to hosting the perfect dinner party in 10 easy steps - all without breaking a nail ofcourse! Sadly the extent of my skills seem to stop at mixing a mean martini!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/15/title_17792/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/15/title_17792/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/14/the_perfect_recipe/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-08-14:/2005/08/14/the_perfect_recipe/Sun, 14 Aug 2005 20:49:10 +0200 <p>I read todday that Simon Hopkinson's Roast Chicken and Other Stories has been voted the most useful cookbook of all time by a panel of leading chefs, restaurateurs and writers. There is no doubt that Roast Chicken is a brilliant book: straightforward, readable and full of good things<br> I am a fan of any book that provides you with recipes that sound and look exotic but which is easy to pull off and yet makes you seem, in the eyes of your guests, so wonderfully accomplished.</p> <p>Looking at my shleves as I think about what to cook for dinner ... I see that perhaps I am slightly obsessive about gathering cookbooks. But just as I do not necessarily want to read novels about lives like my own (anxious girl in big city with nice, middle-class friends - yawn), the most enjoyable cookbooks tend to be about more than merely getting food to the table after a day at the office; I already know how to cook pasta, thanks and to be honest get bored of eating the same old simple to throw together recipes</p> <p>Whatever people say, the true joy of cookbooks lies not only in whether their recipes work. It also has to do with scholarship, social history, good writing and - most important of all - vicarious pleasure.</p> <p>is it nor true that the most deeply satisfying dishes in any cookbook we buy are the ones we're least inclined to make.</p> <p>I cannot see myself asking my butcher for tripe, which does not look particularly like food and until now just sounded quite odd. But for reasons I cannot quite explain, I like the idea of it. Reading a recipe for deep-fried tripe with green paste reads like an odd kind of poetry. It sounds delicious.</p> <p>Looking at other books - like a certain someone who has made money out of explaining the basics - where's the pleasure in being lectured about stock and sustainable fish? Where's the poetry in a can of chick peas ? I like a spoonful of whimsy and a dollop of excess with my recipes. I like a writer who smacks their lips and emits a loud belch even as they supply you with a list of organic greengrocers. Being able to concoct a basic potato soup is a fine and noble thing. Every now and then, however, it is fun to conjure ingredients so arcane that you must visit Beirut or Bombay to find them.This is the appeal... bombay on your dining table after a tip tp tescos o even better, the local chinese/ asian/ cypriot run shops in areas you normally would not wander into.. some of my best finds have been in these tiny shops, that stock enormous jars roadted vegetables or of piclked red peppers ( yummy with brie)..for a very fair price ( when compared to tesco or waitrose)</p> <p>There is nothing that excites me more, then when I chance upon market stands selling fresh produce.. not the prepacked sanitary variety easily obtainable from tescos/ waitrose... and the look of pleasure on the faces of my friends and family when they try my ( usually successful) new experiments... </p> <p>Cooking should be about making things you like. If you make things you don't like they won't taste any good. And if you are doing complicated things for the sake of complexity when simple is better, i reckpon you're wasting your time. While I may not follow a recipe exactly, the books inspire me to try...</p> <p>In my view you can't have too many cookbooks, any more than you can have too many knives, pans or culinary gadgets. No, cookbooks are the life blood of the home cook. They drive us on to new horizons, to greater heights, to ... well, you get the picture.... I'm waxing lyrical I know - but hey, Jamie oliver has made millions that way!</p> <p>We all like cookbooks in different styles, for different reasons and, frequently, for different purposes. We all have those writers whom we trust, to whose books we return time and again. Mine are now comfortably ensconced on my shelves, waiting to gather the marks of good service - drips of oil, fat and juices....</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/14/the_perfect_recipe/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/14/the_perfect_recipe/#commentshttp://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/08/sartorial_challenges/tag:handbags.blog.co.uk,2005-08-08:/2005/08/08/sartorial_challenges/Mon, 08 Aug 2005 22:52:07 +0200 <p>Grrrr -just spent over an hour in search of... a pair of black trousers.... its not like its a difficult specification... low waisted, fitted on the hip, straight on the leg... but no... everything is skinny or flared or embroidered or gypsy like... and basically just too fashionable!</p> <p>Being fashionable is the in thing at the moment. In fashion, new is the newest new. Even if it's the turn of old to be the new new, it's the new old that's the new new and not the old old, because old is the old old and is never going to be the new anything ever again. </p> <p>Now, what exactly is " boho chic"? Thats the term that got cooed at me by the twelve year old looking shop assistant as I tried on something that made me look like a chicken shedding feathers! Well its based on an eclectic, hand-crafted look;which encompasses hand-stitched beadwork as well as the suede and aforementioned feathers and is, of course, "more about a mindset than a mere transient look..."?!! what? You mean people want to look like balding poultry?</p> <p>I'm an avid reader of The Sunday Times Style magazine... who's unofficial motto is "All fashion is cool". Yes, it's cool even though much of it has ordinary people rolling in the aisles laughing themselves sick. That's why ordinary people aren't allowed into fashion shows, because they'd clog up the aisles and cause a fire hazard. Fashionistas have the equivalent of the Official Secrets Act, where everybody in the industry can say anything about fashion, as long as they take it seriously. </p> <p>The last genuinely original fashion idea was probably in the wiinter collection of 1971. Nevertheless, colours, lengths, cloths and styles still have to change every season. To make sure everything changes at once in the right direction, all fashion ultimately stems from a small office in the European commission in Brussels, overseen by a short, grumpy hypersensitive bureaucrat. </p> <p>The models who model fashion don't look like normal people either.. have you noticed? That's because, if you're wearing odd clothes, it helps to look slightly odd yourself. Remember, the cooler the fashion, the odder the models. Normal people look silly in high fashion in the same way that models look silly in low fashion.</p> <p>And what of those icons who are constantly being acclaimed as stylish ie not models but that breed known as " celebrities"...( Sienna Miller for one, who is a nice girl I am sure but really.. she has all the sartorial flair of a chipmuck with a toothache!)</p> <p>It's all terribly confusing, really. Particularly when you consider that, given the current ubiquitousness of the celebrity stylist, famous women are arguably the outward expression of someone else's style. And how often are celebrity women PR-spun stylish public personas? </p> <p>On the catwalk, models are trained to walk in a certain way. Were they to walk in a normal manner, people might think they were just nipping out for a smoke or cup of tea. Instead, they walk in a way that guarantees people look at them, if only to wonder what's wrong with their walk. No one knows why it's called a catwalk; it just seemed to work better than dog walk. </p> <p>However, my latest chance to embrace true fashion liberation arrived recently,with the news that thongs are out of fashion. The discomfort of a flossed bottom, and the internationally recognised sign for chav are over, to be replaced by the far more comfortable (and extremely flattering) boy-pants. At long long last, perhaps, I can relax - a glimpse won't drive men wild, they're easy to wear and they won't inch painfully above my waistband,if walking speed increases beyond a slow totter!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/08/sartorial_challenges/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://handbags.blog.co.uk/2005/08/08/sartorial_challenges/#comments