Musings of a 30th something

Stop procrastinating, lose weight, write a book, fall in love and be happy are traditional new year's resolutions and, currently, the top five goals on the website 43things.com. The site (aiming to inspire teenagers across the world... now there's a challenge) encourages you to post a list of 43 things you want to do with your life, where you want to go, who you want to be - and then to record what happens to your dreams.

"Discover what's important, make it happen, share your progress," is the motto of 43things, believing that making a list of goals can "help you clarify" your aspirations. Even so, many of the users still haven't got the foggiest what they want to do: "Decide what the hell to do with the rest of my life", ranks highly. Here is a flavour of what's on the site: Nataliewitch from Indiana wants to "manage my bipolar disorder" and "try everything in the Kama Sutra". Nobodysperfect wants to "be the mom that my kids love" while Nataliethegoldfish wants to "fill in the gaps in the theory of evolution so we can dismiss once and for all Intelligent Design". SpiritofWinter simply wants to "transcend all the categories and become just an entity".

Meanwhile, acts of random cruelty fester in people's fantasies. Abbeynormal wants to "point and laugh at people who have 'Drink More Water' as a goal". Cathy wants to "learn to ignore the immature people that leave stupid comments to my goals ... One of my goals is to hug a panda. This person comes from nowhere asking me if I am insane ... One of their goals was to succesfully raise RATS!"

MomsL8 agrees: "There are people here who are obnoxious and don't use the site to their good advantages. Who cares whether my 'chores' are simple and I use big fonts?"

So whats my resolution for 2006.... - "Sleep properly and not sweat the small stuff" - easier said than done!

and for those of you who may need some inspiration - here are my top tips....

1) Watch Breakfast at Tiffany's
This new year, your not exactly arduous task is to rent Breakfast at Tiffany's and settle down with a coffee and croissant to study thand enjoy the best movie ever ( closely followed by the Breakfast Club.. hmm I sense a theme)

2) Turn the humble cardigans in your wardrobe into weapons of seduction
Remember all those happy images of Mrs Mangel from Neighbours, fussing over boring plain Jane (Charlene called her that, not me, OK?), always griping about Madge, and always, always wearing her cardigan. OK, now wipe that happy piece of televisual history from your mind, because next season is all about - drum roll, please, with a touch of cymbal - the Sexy Cardigan.
Gather round, ladies and gents, and I shall explain: it all started with Prada's lovely little cardigans fastened with a brooch. And, er, that's it. But, leaving television references aside, why shouldn't the cardigan be sexy? It's feminine, it fits like billyo and it emphasises a part of the body I am told some men are fond of staring at.

3) Read The Great Gatsby
Well, I say read because it sounds brainier, but if that's a bit taxing you can always watch the 1974 film, starring Robert Redford and Mia Farrow.

4) Stop thinking that just because something looks good on Kate Moss it will look good on you
You know, I even have the photos. Me in over-the-jean boots; me in an army parka; me at a party without a lick of makeup (So casual! So downtown NY!); me in a properly frou-frou dress I bought purely because it looked, as I said to my mum, "sooooo vintage" (ie, it smelled and you could easily see why someone gave it away). And, hey, you know what? They ain't too pretty to look at. Although I may not have three sets of teeth and a hunch, I'm not Kate and no number of little round-toed pumps worn with jeans is going to change that. Aspiration is all very well, but self-delusion is just a step away from dressing like Barbara Cartland.

5) Be more girly
It's time to get in touch with your feminine side - and boys, I don't mean you. Wear a dress, wear it with proper shoes, and wear it with pride. After all, if you refuse, you miss out on the truly scrumptious dresses on offer from the likes of Lanvin and, ahem, Miss Selfridge.

6) Learn to drink coffee really neatly
This kind of ties in with the above. Look ladylike, act delicate - otherwise, most of the year's pay cheques are going straight to the dry-cleaners. Dresses are everywhere, and chiffon is the new denim -Which is all very lovely, but pale lemon chiffon is very different from indigo denim, as you'll find out if you get too breezy with the lattes. One stray elbow and your morning coffee will ruin the whole day's outfit. Table manners are very much in fashion this year.

7) Get a normal haircut
Wouldn't it be great if people stared at you on a train because your haircut was sweet and flattering, and not because it looks as if your locks have been nibbled by rats? The odd haircut, that obsession of many an urban hairdresser, has come to an impasse: there is nothing weird left to do to hair that hasn't been done already. Men have bits shaved or sticking up in random places, women have a shock of dye that makes an already brutal shape all the more unapproachable. This year I'm making a stand: men should look neat and well-groomed, women's hair should be tousled and windblown, either from a walk on the beach or a swing round the dancefloor.